Wow

Wow, how long it's been since my last update!

Finally Holiday

Finally, after having a hard week dealing with my laboratory works reports and presentations I can really have a rest now. It's holiday! I'm so happy because it takes two months. Long time enough, eh? I finally can spend time to relax and enjoy my personal time.

Welcome holiday! :-)

Anyway, I've just got home from hang out with my college friends. It's been one or two weeks since the last time I met them. We spent time in a cafe we used to get together where we do our assignments where we used to sit and joke. They're so funny.

Tonight was well yes a bit interesting to welcome my holiday. I miss you all guys. I hope we could have a trip to somewhere in this holiday.

Deadline Is Dead

I've been really get stuck and stressed lately. Deadline was making me feel like hell.

All I did is sitting around on my bed, alone, sad, and feeling under pressure. I feel like don't want to wake up and go for something else. Yes I'm stressed. I can't find another interesting things to entertain me right now.

Complicated

I hate this situation. Damn! It becomes exhausting that I'm so upset and keep blaming myself for the way things were because I realized that it was my overreacting and so that I shouldn't be angry or having a go on it like this. I think that I'm not good enough for it and I want different situation so that I need to change. I don't want to stay here on this darkest which may kill me someday soon.

I know I need to stop waiting, thinking, and worrying. I need to move on. But it's hard, it's like I want to do a big things but feeling like I have no power. I don't know how.

Help me!

Well, as time goes by, I hope I'll see a change on it or perhaps in myself and I'll know how to be and not trying to rescue myself by escaping like this. I'm so naïve.

Short Update

Well, I have not posted in a while. Dealing with a lot of assiggnment and report right now. Wishing that's all gonna be okay.

What True Happiness Really Is

Something was making me happy. Simple as it should be, it was okay. But now, I just realize it faded away from my life. I'm sick of it and feel like wanna escape from this life. I'm so sick, down, and desperate. All I need is happiness. A true natural happiness like children and not a fake one that I used to be.

If I could turn back the time, I'd back to time when I was a child. Children, they are who always happy everytime, never worried about anything like life problem, assignments, school, love, and future. And they can easily get happiness, simply by watching their favorite cartoon TV shows or cycling with their friends.

Now, it seems hard to get that true happiness. To me at this time, happiness is to have my personal time, enjoying my hobbies without thinking about that thing. It's just hard actually, really.

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
- Somewhere Only We Know, Keane

But I know, life is too short on this earth. So I have to make the best of it while I'm here and be happy whatever it takes. I must believe in all the things in my life and always pray for it.

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
And pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now You're my only hope
- Only Hope, Switchfoot

Shopping Therapy

You know shopping or retail therapy is a great stress reliever. I'm not sure but whenever I'm feeling down it seems like all my problem can be fixed with clothes, a pair of shoes, bag, book, or CD. I'm not saying that money can buy happiness but it always put me in a better mood.

I shop everytime I get really stressed and it works. Just think about what will satisfy me regardless of whether it's not a want or a need then go shopping and end up with that stuff. When I get home I just love overwhelming feeling I get when I see all things I've bought. Actually, it's not about what satisfy me but about the feeling it gives to me.

I think I need it now.